Nightmare #7.62
I was running
as hard as I could
I was late
although I didn't know for what.
As I came around
the corner my heart
jumped into my throat
My ship was pulling out!
The gangplank was going up
and the ship had just started
to move away from the dock.
I kept running straight at the ship
prepared to make a leap for it.
"Hold it up! Stop!"
I screamed as I charged
toward the edge of the dock.
Before I could jump,
two men, bigger and stronger than I,
grabbed me.
I couldn't understand
why they wouldn't let me go.
"That's my ship," I pleaded.
"I've got to get on that ship!"
As I struggled with them,
trying to break their grip,
I looked up at the ship
and saw my buddies looking down on me.
There was Whitey, Cibby, Peterson,
Doc, Middleton, McGuire,
Brent, Gordy
and all the others I'd thought were long dead.
They were lining the rails
dressed in their green utilities,
smiling and waving at me.
"Oh please, Jesus, help me!"
I begged as I struggled to join them.
"Wait up! I'm coming, don't go
without me. Please don't leave me!"
But the ship continued to slowly
move away from the dock
and they continued to wave.
I pleaded with the men holding me:
"You don't understand!
Those are my buddies,
that's my ship,
I'm supposed to be on that ship!"
They didn't seem to
hear me and my efforts to free myself
seemed so feeble.
"Please wait," I cried out
to my buddies.
"Don't leave me!"
But the ship pulled further away
until I could barely see my friends lining the rails.
I have never felt more helpless.
I missed my ship
and I let my buddies down.
I wake up sobbing.
I know that my dream
is as easy to interpret
as a McDonald's menu
but that doesn't mean
it hurts any less.
copyright © 1996 by John Musgrave, from his book "Under a Flare-lit Sky: Vietnam Poems,"
all rights reserved.
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